"Don't let the fear of relapsing keep you from recovery"
This thought, the thought of relapsing kept me from continuing my recovery for SO long. I recently talked to a friend about her illnesses and one thing that she said that I can really relate to is that she was scared to continue with her recovery because every time she had made the decision to begin her recovery, she would relapse and each relapse would be worse than the last.
One thing that I have realised, after suffering from similar illnesses than her (and I believe that it is the same for all mental health illnesses), is that recovery is not just one single decision. you don't just wake up one day and think "I'm going to recover" and then BAM you're fixed. This isn't the case, it takes lots of constant fixing and I have to continually make the decision of recovery every day (sometimes multiple times a day!)
I honestly wish it was just a simple decision that I had to make once and then I was recovered. Its not that simple. We have to constantly work for the things that we want, and soon they will get easier. All my life people have always told me to "try,fail and try again" or "practice makes perfect". I came to realise that they are right. The decisions that I make daily to aid me in my journey of recovery have become more of a routine for me. (Maybe I will even write a post about my daily routine to help me begin the day right).
My point is, recovery is a long journey, it takes a lot of time and effort to learn to see the world with a new pair of eyes. We are literally changing the way that we perceive things and the way that we live our very lives. There will be times where you will have bad days, just remember, that one bad choice does not rule out the list of good/positive things that you had done before it.
Stay true to yourself and dont be so hard on yourself.
-louise xoxo
